All inclusive family holiday

Before our daughter Sophie fell ill, we took some amazing holidays.  The most audacious was a summer back-packing around Malaysia with our four children then aged between 2 and 10.  When they were older, we spent weeks driving from Darwin to Perth, passing through Kakadu National Park, Kununurra (the diamond capital), Broome (the pearl capital) and the Bungle Bungles of north Western Australia.  On another adventure, we crossed Tanzania to climb Mount Kilimanjaro before discovering the splendours of Zanzibar.

Nearly 7 years ago however, Sophie then aged 17, fell ill.  Following flu, she was diagnosed with a devastating brain infection, encephalitis lethargica.   We subsequently made the most painful discovery that sick children don’t always get better.  After nearly a year, Sophie came home from hospital.  Our once sassy, articulate teenager was left with profound brain damage, acute physical disabilities, blindness and no means of communicating apart from crying.

As a result, holidays have been simpler in recent years and we have usually opted for a French gite.  My husband Phillip and I drive with Sophie; the other children fly down to join us.  But to celebrate Phillip’s 50th birthday this winter, we wanted to do something more exciting.

We decided on a diving holiday based in a wheelchair friendly hotel where we could look after Sophie.  With the children now aged between 16 and 24, we mistakenly thought this would be easy to arrange. And so after fruitless visits to travel agents, we decided to approach tour operators direct.  Surfing the net, I found specialist companies that offer diving for the disabled but not what we were looking for. Generic travel websites were vague about disabled facilities and the only emails sent remained unanswered.  Finally, following a suggestion from friends, I discovered the Meridien Hotel near Hurghada on Egypt’s Red Sea which appeared to fit the bill.

Panorama Holidays offer the Meridien in an all-inclusive package and were happy to confirm with local staff that they could cater for our family.    It was the first time since Sophie’s illness that the whole family was going away together and given her severe disabilities, I was particularly nervous about the flight.  When distressed, Sophie can scream for hours and I was worried how uncomfortable this would be for the other passengers and us.  We all sat together near the front of the aircraft and boarded with minimum hassle before the other holidaymakers.  My worries had been unfounded; Sophie, surrounded by her family was completely relaxed.  Five hours later in Hurghada, we waited for the plane to empty before carrying Sophie down the steps to her waiting wheelchair.  There was the inevitable odd stare from other passengers, with children pointing and whispering which I still find awkward. 

‘Don’t let it bother you,’ said my younger daughter Lydia.  ‘She does look different but she’s still Sophie.  So what if they stare?’  But I know how Sophie would hate to be stared at. Despite the passage of time, her disability still breaks my heart and I resent having to get used to it.

Although people may look, they rarely make any attempt at conversation or offer to help.  We did have a bit of a struggle to carry Sophie onto the waiting coach due to steep and narrow steps, but it was only a forty minute drive to the hotel.

The complex is on a beachside location and has an enormous outdoor pool.  With ramps and lifts throughout, it was easy to navigate with Sophie’s wheelchair.  This wasn’t the sort of holiday we used to choose and we discovered that ‘all-inclusive’ actually meant ‘full-board with selected drinks’.  But there was a good dive package which Phillip and our two sons thoroughly enjoyed. 

I get seasick and Lydia isn’t interested in diving, so it was left to us to look after Sophie during the day.  Sophie is unable to chew and for a long time was fed through a tube into her stomach.  But food is one of the few of life’s pleasures that Sophie can  enjoy so we now feed her puréed meals.  She still has a sweet tooth but mealtimes can be a slow and tedious process.

All meals at the Meridien were buffet style with a good variety of hot and cold dishes.  For breakfast, one of us would collect hot milk and cereal from the dining room and feed Sophie before washing and dressing her for the day.  At lunch and supper, we would take her to the restaurant along with a blender.  The staff were sensitive to our needs and reserved a table discreetly tucked into an alcove.  We could enjoy our family meals, taking turns feeding Sophie without attracting too much attention. 

We had specifically requested rooms away from the main building in case Sophie was noisy at night and disturbed other people.  However, the sound insulation was excellent and our three adjacent rooms were spacious and well appointed.  They offered easy wheelchair access despite not being recommended for disabled use.  The recommended rooms were attached to the main building with  ramped access to the reception area, dining room and bars.  These were disappointing with the only concession to disability being a couple of grab rails on the bath.  They could not have been used by a disabled person without assistance.

Had we wished to leave the hotel complex with Sophie, it would have been difficult; coaches were not adapted for wheelchairs and in any case, a mammoth road journey was necessary to reach anywhere interesting.  However for a family such as ours seeking some winter sun, this holiday was a good option despite lacking excitement.   With the children growing up, even if Sophie had not fallen ill, it is unlikely that we would still be doing the great treks of yesteryear.  Also, this holiday did prove that we can be a little more adventurous with Sophie.   It’s difficult to say whether or not she enjoyed it, but she didn’t complain too much.  My other children made me laugh, were brilliant with their sister and Phillip had a good birthday.  I do hope we try something a bit more daring before he turns 60.

© Judith Cameron